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  Ask the Pwn Kitties Question Round-up 2
November 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Ask The Pwn Kitties

Ask the Pwn Kitties Question Round-up 2

Contest winners! Also, how not to win a contest! (Like Odysseus!)

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As some of you may remember, back on November 10th we told you we were having a contest. Well, we've found a winner! However, we've been a little busy and didn't realize that Left 4 Dead was in fact released today! So, if you were chosen as a runner-up, never fear! We will have something good for you as well. Check your inboxes! It's a seeeecret!

To those of you who bitched that we didn't answer your question RIGHT WHEN YOU FUCKING ASKED IT, learn a little patience. Did we not say to wait? =/ This was a contest open to everyone, while only a handful joined. We gave it some time in case there were people who wanted to get in on it. In actuality we really shouldn't even attend to you bitchy ass whiny people, but we are not c_nts so we will anyway. However, before you message us and complain, please remember that contests are open to everyone, and thus, take time. Kay, thanks.

The winner of the first Pwn Kitties contest is: Setre!

Here's Setre's winning question and our response:

Dear Pwn Kitties,
I have a new girlfriend but I don’t know if I should stay with her. You see she’s a robot zombie from planet X and although she can control her urge for brains she tries to eat mine sometimes. This isn’t the problem though; the REAL problem is she likes JRPGs and ONLY JRPGs and I HATE JRPGs. I’ve tried to get her to play other games with me like Soul Calibur IV (she called me a perv), Dead Rising (called me raciest), Mario Galaxy (said it was for kids), and Metal Gear (she said Snake had no penis). I mean I tolerate watching her play Final Fantasy and even have planned on picking up Chrono Trigger on DS for her and am going to try it myself, still every time I try to get her to play a game I like she has an excuse or tries to eat my brain. I like her but the relationship is starting to get stressful, what with her never wanting to play a round of Brawl with me or having to lock myself in a closet while she goes on a rampage trying to find me so she can crack my skull open. So what should I do? Dump her? Put up with it? Shoot her? You’re my only hope Pwn Kitties!

Dear Setre,
It sounds like maybe you should stay away from robot zombies. Where did you even meet this chick, World of Warcraft? That's the only place I can imagine that would cater to such people. Ayway, though, the answer is simple: put her down. Think of the future offspring you might have. How far in life is a human/robot/zombie hybrid going to get? There are plenty of amazing, successful, and beautiful Pwn Kitties, I mean...girls out there who play many more genres of games besides JRPGs. While I enjoy them myself, I would never confine myself to just one genre. That'd be like only listening to one type of music. Sit her down one day (you might have to lure her over with a DS and Final Fantasy IV), and tell her that she's about to go the way of Old Yeller. You might need to sprinkle various JRPG game discs along the floor to lead her to the door that leads outside. While she's sniffing around, make sure you grab your shotgun. When you're outside you might want to point in the opposite direction and yell, "LOOK! IT'S FAMOUS COMPOSER NOBUO UEMATSU!". I think you know what to do from there.
-PwnKitty Reclaimer

Setre, make sure you check your inbox soon for directions on how to claim your prize!

Dear Pwn Kitties,
There are many people that say they're "pro." I mean a lot of people. What are your standards for an individual who would be considered a "pro" and what kind of dedication and skill would it take to make it to that level of gaming?

Dear Quiglin,
When I think of a pro gamer, the PMS clan, or the Frag Dolls, or all the male versions of them do not cross my mind, nor do all the little "I'M PRO" losers who feel the need to announce what they think they are with there teeny 340 gamerscore (not an achievement whore, but if your gamerscore is THAT low and you claim to have finished a ton of games, something's obviously wrong). Who do I think of? I think of people like Fatal1ty, as corny as that is, but that's an example of getting paid to appear, to game, and all that. Not that he's the best example, but a professional to me is someone who is sponsored or paid for their gaming time. Gaming is their job. They don't work at McDonald's or Hollister part-time to make ends meet. The kind of skill and dedication needed to commit to that kind of job would be just like any other pro job. You'd have to put in hours and hours every single day to perfect your skill, to learn the game inside and out, as well as practice matches to make sure you're at the top of your game. There's none of this O HAY NEED TO GO 'CAUSE MOM IS CALLING bullshit. If you're a pro gamer, you live to perfect your craft, because you aren't getting paid to go 10 and 27. Next time someone on XBL says they're PRO but yet their gamerscore is dismally low, and they perform worse than an old man on Viagra, call them out. Because they're giving the real pro players a bad image.
-PwnKitty Reclaimer

Dear Quiglin,
In my opinion, calling yourself a "Pro" means you actually get paid to do your thing. When I hear that word, I think of people who compete, practice everyday and probably have a sponsor. Most people will call themselves that meaning that they play a lot and are really good. These people I would consider just "Hardcore". Either way you see it, you'll still hear 10 year olds calling themselves "MLG PRO, BITCH!!" and end the match with 5 kills and 0 assists. Pffft.
-PwnKitty RiotMonster

Dear PwnKitties,
Hmm...Would it be a bad thing to shave off all my hair and run down the street seeing how aerodynamic I am?

Well, put your life into perspective. Do chicks really dig bald guys who have no facial hair or eyebrows, and smoother legs than them? Not most chicks. ALTHOUGH, chicks DO dig guys who have shaved pubes so my advice would be to SHAVE UP, STRIP DOWN, and run outside, going "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!". That will be so much fun and totally worth looking like an alien for the next couple of weeks.
-PwnKitty RiotMonster

Dear Pwn Kitties,
Hmm looks like your not going to answer my question or any of the questions that are asked when you made the contest. Guess it's not that great of a contest and your probably not going to give out left 4 dead keys or else I would of received one b/c I did in fact ask a question. This definitely hinders your credibility when you haven't really answered any questions. Maybe you shouldn't of made this blog if you were going to waste peoples time. Well the question still stands WHY SO SERIOUS?
-Original Cock Odysseus

Dear F4g,
Maybe we forgot to mention that the contest is only open to people who have actual personalities and do not try to emulate a comic book/cartoon/movie character. Also, you moron, our contest says the RUNNERS-UP will receive a L4D key. Can you not read? Obviously, you can't. As far as "not answering questions" goes, pull your head out of our ass and read the above. How many contests take two days to complete? As if your opinion really matters to us. Oh, and you get absolutely nothing. Thanks. Why so serious? I don't know. Why so desperate for attention?
-PwnKitty Reclaimer


Dear PoleSmoker,
Hmm looks like you're not that cool of a guy or any of your faggot clan members that joined Pwned. Guess it's not that great of a clan and you're probably not going to ever be liked or show that you can "pwn n00bz" or else I would have seen that happening by now. This definitely hinders your credibility when you haven't really stopped being a dick to anyone. Maybe you shouldn't have made that profile if you were going to waste peoples time. Well the question still stands WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
-PwnKitty RiotMonster

More to come! Keep watching this blog!

Games In This Glog

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☆シド☆ said at November 23, 2008 at 10:36 pm:

D: It shows that I don't post a lot here. i got censored.

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☆シド☆ said at November 23, 2008 at 10:34 pm:

So, uh, guys....

What's with Douchey Mcpineappleorange pudding popsgotface? I mean, really.

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OC Odysseus said at November 21, 2008 at 8:59 pm:

Sense you pwned kitties seem to care so much about popularity that I could really care less about I've asked people to bump your blog for you. Hopefully that makes you happier.

Let's see a smile on that FACE!

Also hope your next contest goes better.

Why so serious?

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[DTF] RiotMonster said at November 23, 2008 at 4:40 pm:

Our contest went awesome, kthnx.

Maybe when you finally get over the fact that your father touched you at night as a child and you can finally stop striving desperately for attention, you can participate in an actual conversation with people and join contests and win free stuff.

OC Odysseus said at December 4, 2008 at 1:07 am:

Well as I've said before I did enter the contest but it seems the contest didn't seem credible but not doing what was said. Too bad people can't follow their own directions they made but whatever. Better luck next time.

See I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.

Clov3r said at November 21, 2008 at 1:36 am:

this gave me a ton of laughs. I think I almost woke up Nitro there for a second (he's asleep in the other bed).

So here's my question:

Dear PwnKitties,

Everyone in the hotel room snores. How do I make them stop?


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[DTF] RiotMonster said at November 23, 2008 at 4:36 pm:

What I do with my boyfriend, is just nudge him all night until he eventually stops lol. Idk if the same would work with Nitro, seeing as how he's in a different bed.. XP

Throw stuff at him!! =O

Nicklucard said at November 20, 2008 at 10:10 pm:

lol nice blog :) love the questions.

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Sticky said at November 20, 2008 at 4:14 pm:

This makes me lol. :D *bump'd*

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Mister Prestige said at November 20, 2008 at 9:30 am:

Odyessus, you really are retarded.

"Hmm nobody likes me...really? But I have about I don't know over 80 people on my friends list on pwned and at least 100 people on live."

This is the internet you tard-nugget, Go make a real friend. In fact, dude, just get a life seriously, join the military or something you undisciplined piece of shit.

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OC Odysseus said at November 21, 2008 at 8:49 pm:

You have no idea how many friends I have. Genius. I've already been in the military before just throwing that out there but I could care less if you believe me or not. I don't know about you but I love and have served my country.

Look there's no need for you to get all emotional and upset for asking a simple question but seriously WHY SO SERIOUS?

[DTF] RiotMonster said at November 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm:

I didn't know "The Joker" was in the military.. I think that's the first time O-douche-icas actually broke character. Way to go Mister Prestige lol.

OC Odysseus said at December 4, 2008 at 1:47 am:

lol some people really can't take some good jokes. Hopefully they feel better.

Why so serious?

OC Odysseus said at November 20, 2008 at 6:57 am:

Funny how some people can't comprehend somethings that are just so simple. Furthermore, irrelevant topics are brought up like comic books and whatever. Why would I re-read comic books that I'm already in? lol but that still doesn't answer the question.

Reclaimer kind of answered the question I guess if you want to appear not very knowledgeable about the subject matter but Roit still didn't answer an easy question that I hope would not be too hard for her.

Guess that makes sense how some people can easily get confused and unfocused on something so simple as answering a simple question Why so serious? That could contribute to the reason of seeming a bit unprofessional and not very credible for contests when announcing something and not following through, how sad.

Hmm I would hope that you did get more than 5 people because that would be a sad turn out. I merely suggested that it appeared that way but maybe some people can't realize these things called appearances.

"best b'lee you wouldn't GET SHIT!!" that's fine, glad to know I wouldn't receive someone's excretions but hopefully prizes given away would be of higher caliber then that.

Hmm nobody likes me...really? But I have about I don't know over 80 people on my friends list on pwned and at least 100 people on live. And my blogs seem to do well and get a lot of bumps. If just one person likes me guess what? Newsflash! that doesn't equal nobody. Looks like some people need to realize some simple math.

Nobody = over 100 people.

Now if you think that equation is correct then there is this thing called flawed logic you may want to look up. Genius.

Look I'm just merely giving suggestions to improve your contest for next time. You may want to follow through with what you announce.

Why so serious?

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Nicklucard said at November 20, 2008 at 10:05 pm:


Those Joker one liners just never gets old for ya huh? *Sheesh* like making a whole lot of friends on the internet makes you soooo cool or something.

Anyways all I know is that every game I played U and your fake ass girlfriend OC Jackle in, u get your ass whooped on or chicken out.

I mean the not so bad OC Jackle is better than u and she sucks lol but hey u can take a joke right?

Why so serious?

OC Odysseus said at November 21, 2008 at 8:55 pm:

lol that's a good one. Glad you can lighten up after not doing so well in life. Hope you can make it make it past the lower class someday. Well I really don't have to say much you and I both know the truth of what happens almost every time we've played.

Let's see a smile on that FACE!

Even Nicklucard can't seem to find the intelligence to the answer to the simple and easy question.

Why so serious?

§¥ - Tyler - ¥§ said at November 20, 2008 at 2:16 am:

Dear Pwn Kitties,

I'm a doctor and my patient has deep lacerations in the sternum where ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER HIS BODY AND ARE SHOOTING RADIOACTIVE SUPER CORES, WHERES MY ZAPPY GUN?!?!? Also, what should I do if my sister has cancer..........


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OC Odysseus said at November 18, 2008 at 10:26 pm:

hmm looks like some people have amnesia on here but that's fine. It did say pretty much everyone also it said you'd be bored otherwise. I was the first person to ask a question by leaving a comment and sense some seem a little slow and they couldn't grasp the question so I simply restated it and noted that the contest was up for almost a week from the blog was made and was surprised that some people didn't seem to follow through or respond with some thing they made. No need to get so upset over it. Why so serious?

As far as runners up it appears that only about 5 people commented on it so I guess that would I make a runner up with only 5 people but that's fine if some people can't grasp that concept and are a little slow.

I guess reclaimer saying "I don't know" is an answer but that also make you seem a bit knowledgeable and not as credible as one may hope. Also contributing to this factor is not doing what you said and giving prizes to runner ups. That's fine just a little bit of advice to make the next one btter. roit seemed to failed in answering a simple question but that's fine some people can't realize a simple question asked.

also sense you seem to care about popularity so much I think I'll give a bump to make you feel better.

Let's see a smile on that FACE!

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[DTF] RiotMonster said at November 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm:

First off, Awww, it really is cute that you actually believe that you are the joker.. No it really is. I bet you have Lego Batman and just play it aaaaaall daaaaaaaay looooooooong and probably pirated The Dark Knight, reciting Joker lines to yourself, chuckling at how amusing you think you are. I wouldn't doubt that you have even read a Batman comic book in your life and that you're some "ZOMG COOL BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE I LUV BATMAN NAO!!" poser.

Secondly, you believe that we only had 5 people ask us questions when we were giving away a prize? I do believe we stated that you could ask us questions through email, messages AND comments. So just because you only see 5 little questions in that one blog does not mean that's all we had. Even if you were the ONLY person who submitted a question to us, best b'lee you wouldn't GET SHIT!!

So go play with your white makeup, practice being Heath Ledger in the mirror some more and GTFO because nobody here likes you.

Btw, don't bother replying with "WHY SO SERIOUS?" or any other lines that you believe are SO FUCKIN CLEVER because guess what, I've heard it before. You think "people get butthurt and can't take a joke" but really, you're just an annoying ass internet-tough-guy-wannabe who doesn't know how to come up with anything intelligent to say and your comments aren't even amusing enough to have fun flame wars with you. You really DO give trolls everywhere a bad name. You fail so hard at it.

Setre said at November 18, 2008 at 6:22 pm:

Oh thank goodness for your respone! With the release of Left 4 Dead today my girlfriend went tottaly batshit INSANE! I was lucky enough to lock my self in the bathroom with my laptop and checked PWNED and I saw your answer to my question! I quickly followed your advice and now my girlfriend, I mean EX-girlfriend, is dead once, for good I might add!

Oh thank you Pwn Kitties I am forever in your debt!

Thanks for chosing my question as the winner Reclaimer and RiotMonster :D. I'll have another question ready for you soon. *Is giddy like a school girl because he gets a prize.*

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[DTF] RiotMonster said at November 18, 2008 at 10:47 pm:


Ohhh you are amusing :3

Thanks for giving us an awesome, well-thought-out, entertaining question to have fun with. *hugs* =]

Brian / Quiglin said at November 18, 2008 at 3:56 pm:

Thanks PwnKitties!

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