well, i have this strange obsession. i don't what the term is called when you instantly get fixiated to someone really fast it nearly turns your preception upside down or so. it's like my day revolves upon that person in an instant. and when i mean attached to that person or living thing. i mean male or female, friend, foe, oblite, discrete, delete. im like wtf!! this is why i have no social life. im sure as hell going to be gullible to get attached to that one person quick and it takes up my time. for instance, oxytocin. im sure many of you know her. she's taking over my life as far as pwned is concerned. im like check her page like every other 15 minutes, this is driving me crazy!!
well at first i thought this site was going to be like myspace.com or titanstrike.com. (pwned.com is like myspace but with very few fakes ). there i said it TITANSTRIKE.COM the taboo subject and vise versa if this was there site. their admin is pretty chilled with the situation. there is no tentions except the people who are constantly on their SB. that site is actually good for setting up appointments for a game. it does sound kind of funny but when you have friends around the world that you happen to want to play with under a different time schedule, thats would be best suited for you and your team. i remember back in the days when i was hooked into wc3 because i had the best team and i was the person in charge of making insane stratigies that have the likely percentage of winning by 20%. thats not a good odds but i managed to get that percentage up by 70% by doing a few tweaks to the stratigy and microwing my units to where they needed to be. let me just name a few: moon well rush, decoy rush, mass fast dragon, go go power rangers!! ( they'll morph your units once they are dead), 3 firelords ( the patch kill the cheap advantage ). for those moments it was utopia, 15 minutes a game and sometimes 30 minutes. Most of the time the games didn't drag on more than 45 minutes otherwise we all would be frustrated and tryed of why the noobs are kill us so badly when i planned it out so well.
another thing is crowds, i most definately don't like being a crowd unless its a mosh pit. i just happen to have an image of well; at the point, time and day, how could i massacre the crowd around me. i get a giddy feeling and an evil smirk in my face kind of what joker in batman as the villan would and say "bingo!! kaa-boom!! auhh-ahahahahaha" i think the first time could remember having this image or figmented ideas was when i was in middle school when the unibomber occured and we all had to proceed out for emergency procedures. also the other one was the well armed army of 2 men going on in downtown L.A. along with the mother as the supplier and driver. talking about voilent scenes were taboo too for which i nearly got introuble for. i guess "you can't talk about, just commit the action without hesitation and most definately negligence in mind of conscience." you can nearly go off with an excuse of not taking the right medications or over dosage of drugs that controls your anger depressance. voilence happens everyday and everyday must be a happy-go-luck careless of what could happen. still to this very day, im surprise im not on a rampage as we speak. thankgoodness i'm able to control myself from such.
i think the reason why im writing this is to know what was that would that best describes my craving. anybody with some knowledge with the psych terms please answer my question. what is this word my looking for. thank you.