"Revenge is great. It's phenomenal! It's the only thing that separates us from the animals. It's why I stay with your mother.""


Live for life, free your mind, we'll survive, let love unlock the door.

Ha, good one JX.

¨If you want to have sex, the kids have to leave,and if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave¨

"Just as a man's eyes must adjust to the light when he's been in the dark, so too must a man's eyes adjust to his wife when he's been at the nudie bar."



“Life is like a video game. There is always that one final riddle, that one final boss to beat and then you get your happy ending. But in order to finish that riddle you have to clear your mind and start over fresh, and in order to beat that boss you sometimes have to fight until you are strong enough. But if you give up on the game then you never will know what that happy ending is.”
- Queen of Nintendo

Marcy: "Why do women even need bras?"
Al: "It's to keep your breasts off the plate while you eat."


Live for life, free your mind, we'll survive, let love unlock the door.

Al: You'll never guess what I dreamed about at work today!

Peg: Me?

Al: Yes!

Peg: Was I in bed?

Al: Yes! As a matter of fact, I tied you up!

Peg: Ooh Al, that's so kinky! What were you doing?

Al: Cindy Crawford!



“Life is like a video game. There is always that one final riddle, that one final boss to beat and then you get your happy ending. But in order to finish that riddle you have to clear your mind and start over fresh, and in order to beat that boss you sometimes have to fight until you are strong enough. But if you give up on the game then you never will know what that happy ending is.”
- Queen of Nintendo

"Wherever a fat woman shoves a smelly foot in front of a poor guys face, I'll be there.
Wherever someone comes into the store and tires to exchange a pair of shoes he's been wearing for 3 months, I'll be there.
Whenever kids come into the store, take off their old shoes and try to sneak out with new ones, I'll be there too.
And madam, when Shamu needs a mate, YOU'LL be there."


Live for life, free your mind, we'll survive, let love unlock the door.

I bet we can all agree that this is all perfect type of movie for any fellow.

"THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY MOVIE. I SAW 22 HOOTERS A BUNCH OF GUYS WERE KILLED, HAD NO STORY AT ALL! IT HAD... IT HAD EVERYTHING."



“Life is like a video game. There is always that one final riddle, that one final boss to beat and then you get your happy ending. But in order to finish that riddle you have to clear your mind and start over fresh, and in order to beat that boss you sometimes have to fight until you are strong enough. But if you give up on the game then you never will know what that happy ending is.”
- Queen of Nintendo

"25 years ago a young man of endless promise was going places,
all he needed was a way to get there, he found it, on a used car lot on route 12.
And through the years, the journey had some unexpected turns, and some unwanted passengers.
There are several kinds of love, one kind of love begins with...misplaced lust,
and degenerates into a raging hell of MISERY AND DESPAIR!

But I digress..."


Live for life, free your mind, we'll survive, let love unlock the door.

Who else believes that the "friendship" between Al and his neighbor Marcy is utterly hilarious?

Marcy: "We're having a new addition to our family!"

Al: "Shouldn't you be at home waiting for it to hatch?"



“Life is like a video game. There is always that one final riddle, that one final boss to beat and then you get your happy ending. But in order to finish that riddle you have to clear your mind and start over fresh, and in order to beat that boss you sometimes have to fight until you are strong enough. But if you give up on the game then you never will know what that happy ending is.”
- Queen of Nintendo

"Ah the classics. 'Booty and the Beast', 'Mrs.Assfire' and my personal favourite, 'Forest Hump'."


Live for life, free your mind, we'll survive, let love unlock the door.